I was giving myself Permission to not take action on my dreams.
And I'm kind of mad about it. I didn’t know that’s what I was doing. But once I started creating my work around Permission it became so clear to me how much I was deciding to wait, hope, wish, yearn. I could Olympic Medal in yearning. Why isn’t this a recognised discipline???
I was giving myself Permission to stay in that yearning spot. I was good at it! What’s your hurry? The problem was, that decision not to act was not in concert with my desires. My dream for the life I wanted to lead or for the things I wanted to contribute. And it kept me in a slow burn of unhappiness for a lot longer than I would want to admit. [All of the time before five minutes ago basically].
I didn’t understand how to get from my dream to taking the action to actually get me there. I didn’t understand what Permission was.
Permission, for me, is the moment we decide to take an action on something we desire.
Desire. Decide. Do.
It’s the only way to complete the cycle and actually get closer to want you want. And we aren’t talking about it enough, teaching it, or helping each other through the process and I want to change that. I want to help coaches include it and I want you to be able to spot it when you are trying something new regardless of whether the teacher knows. I want you to get to where you want to go.
I’ve seen the absence of acknowledging the moment of decision throughout the self-improvement world. Some people are really good at teaching you how to desire and focus on outcomes. This is so important because so often we don’t even know where to start, what we dream of. We have to be able to name it. But without the Decide and Do steps, they can’t get you there. And if as a teacher they aren’t aware of themselves on the cycle, they aren’t pushing you out the door to someone who will help with the next steps.
Then there are the Do people. And they are the perfect teachers and helpers when you know what you want and have decided to go get it and need to know what are the smartest actions for doing it. But without being aware and naming that they are working in the “action” phase, this can be so frustrating and upsetting for people who haven’t made the decision to take action, or have no idea what to even want, yet. Our own privilege can impact us here as teachers if we go without thinking about where others may require support with permission because of their different life experiences to ours.
Permission is just as important as the desiring or doing. Using Permission as a tool is to seek out the moments and conditions of choice in our process. It reinstills sovereignty. I often know what I’m supposed to do, but I don’t have to do it! I have proven that one to myself often enough. Not doing things is a decision as well though. Waiting is a decision. Changing your mind is a decision. Starting over. Diving in. Yearning. All decisions. You have given yourself Permission to make those decisions whether you thought about it like that or not.
When we give ourselves the Permission to make a decision for where we are now, we give ourselves the opportunity to take actions towards our dreams. Even the wrong action! Because we also know we can make a different choice if it’s not working--because we do that now. And it changes everything.
If you'd like to go deeper into your Permission journey, why not check out my five day Audio Course (whether you're a Coach or a student) here.
Lots of love,